Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Yes! I know that I haven't posted in a while-I been told by many. Some have called my blog "lame and pathetic; in need of resuscitation." I needed a break-so much was going on in my life-some being caused by these cute little faces.

Adopting an older child comes with so many benefits, but it also comes with past memories-memories of a life you took away. A five year old does not have a real clear understanding of the big picture of life. I have had more conversations with Ella about "forever families" than I have had reading her books. Some days, I spend the whole day telling Ella that we are not taking her back to China or to live with a new mommy or daddy. Some nights, she still wakes up screaming. How I want her to understand she is home. I know this will come with time, but it breaks my heart and exhausts me emotionally.

All the while, I have been trying to finish up a few college classes. I went to college for three years before I got married so I have been on a quest to finish. Some months, it is not a quest, but an obsession...I get so wrapped up in just finishing that I loose site of other things going on around me. I have decided that going to college as a mom is like trying to win the lottery-nearly impossible. It takes me one year to finish two classes online. I finally decided that I would go back into the classroom this fall and finish up with an education degree. But, I think all day kindergarten is probably on the chopping block due to state budget cuts, so Ella will be home at half day. No way I can go full time to school. I have to remind myself that it is not my time to finish this goal-being a mom is my number one priority. So, here's to starting back to school full time in the fall of 2010...or 2011...2012.

Life is rather cluttered-you just muddle through and try to put a smile on your face, be positive and find joy around you. I have so many blessings-Life is Good!


Rhonda said...

Well I'll be...is this really a new post??? Your life has been busy..glad I get to see you a few times a week even if it's just hi and bye.

So if they do chop full day K...are you doing AM? I hope!!!!

A Beautiful Mess said...

You sure have been busy!

Marriage at 18 years old....glad you were able to talk her out of that!!!

I finished school as a "mom" it took awhile....I used to joke that I was going to finish even if I qualified as a senior citizen and could take classes for free! Hang in there! Check and see if you can take an online class. I took two my last semester and it worked out great!

Michelle said...

Hi Ronda,
I'm so glad you're back!!! It sounds like your plate has been full... overflowing, really.

The girls thank you for their little surprise. You are so sweet!!

I will keep Ella in my prayers.